Live...Love...Laugh...Taught by my mom

LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH

I never thought the day you dropped me off at nursery school you would actually leave me.  But then again, I never thought you would leave me at 32 years old either.  I sit here and think how life isn’t always fair, but I think I felt that way when I was 3.  I was a shy, little mommies girl hiding behind glasses, who thought life did not go on with out you. You did however come back that day in 1970.

     I figured out ways even in kindergarten to be able to call you during the day.  I would do everything from peeing on the floor during circle time, to unscrewing my glasses so that you would have to come to school For me.  I finally just learned to wait until I got home from school to see you.  There you were, every day, sitting outside with Sam waiting for me to get off the bus.  I don’t know what it was about coming home that was just so comfortable.

     Mom, you always had just the right thing to say, or knew the right time for a hug or a hand to hold.  I could always so easily fall asleep because of the comfort you brought. You knew when I was sad, mad, or just needed to be with you.

  My mom was not just your ordinary mom.  She had many struggles of her own.  From the time she was just a little girl she had to deal with sickness that not very many kids had to fight.  She was always so strong and positive no matter what.  Nana and Papa, (her mom and dad) had to leave her at a hospital when she was just 9 years old so that she could be treated for polio.  But she once again, being the strong person she was smiled for every picture and I’m sure said good-bye with a big hug and kiss reassuring my grandparents she would be fine.  She defied all odds, she finally walked without braces or crutches!

Defying all odds was something that she got to be known for.  She was told that having babies would not be easy.  1 baby, 2 miscarriages, and 2 more babies later, she proved everyone wrong!  3 kids with her high school sweetheart (my amazing dad!) made for a pretty incredible family.  She still always had to be very careful, but that didn’t stop her.  We still traveled, boated, swam, she did everything and anything to make sure her kids grew up happy and loving life.  That’s what she did and that’s what she taught us, to love life.

Fast forward to my mom at 59 years old.... 

8 weeks in the hospital with many complications from an opened heart valve.  A heart transplant was considered by the whole family, we decided against it. My mom fought so hard, just as she had proven to always do and win. She would have to be transferred to another hospital only to be accepted as a candidate. She had so many other problems that she may not have even made it through the transfer. As a family we had decided that she had fought as hard as she could.  Sunday, April 11th,1999, I asked my sister to call me from the hospital room and put the phone to her ear. I told her how much I loved her. I told her that she had fought hard enough that it was time to just close her eyes and go to sleep. I told her that I wished that I could be half the mom to my kids that she was to me. I told her how much I admired her and looked up to her. I told her that it was time and that everyone would be O.K. and that we would take care of each other. I told her again how much I loved her. Lisa took the phone as everyone was by her side. And not but 40 minutes later did my phone ring, Mom has passed away.

Fast forward 17 years...

2 beautiful girls who will never get to meet their grandma/great grandma, will share the beauty of being named for her.  Sadie Joy and Lucy Joy, may you grow to be as strong and as beautiful as your namesake, Sandra Joy.

When you're a little down...

15 Dr. Seuss Quotes to Get You Through a Rough Day

Simple Mom (and her dog): Why Fit In When You Were Born To Stand Out...Dr. S...

Simple Mom (and her dog): Why Fit In When You Were Born To Stand Out...Dr. S...: I am challenged on my every word by my 14 year old... "Mom, Why do you have to be so judgmental?" "Im watching "Th...

The Power of Optimism...Positive Mind~Positive Vibes~Positive Life

Blessed are those who spoil and snuggle...hug and hope...pray and pamper...For they shall be called Grandparents

O.K....I'm a grandma, well, a Nana!  I had a hard time with grandma, grams, a few even tried granny and I would have none of that.  The first time I changed Lucy, my son-in-law looked at me and said "You are such a Nana!"  And it felt right.  I always thought, how could I be a Nana?  There is only one Nana to me and I could never stand up to her...but I will do my best! So its official...Eric and I are Nana and Pops...Oh, and my daughter is a mom, her husband a dad...and Jake and Sadie...An Uncle and Aunt...Yep...

Lucy Joy was born Tuesday, January 19th at 12:32 pm. She weighed 7lbs 5 oz. and was 20.5 inches long.  She came into this world pretty quietly to Leon Bridges singing Smooth Sailin, on a beautiful winter afternoon!  The day Dani asked me if I would be in the delivery room with them was truly unexpected!  Everyone knows that we are extremely close, but to watch my granddaughter take her first breath never, in a thousand years, crossed my mind.  I tried to imagine the moment many times over and over again in my head.  Bright lights, loudness, yelling, and then the cries of a beautiful baby girl...well, it was low lighting, (until the very end), peacefulness, music, (a little bit of The Today Show), and an hour and a half of Dani pushing with all her might.  Joe and I coached Dani when to push and when to Stop... watching this amazing head of hair emerge, and then finally this perfect little girl appears and the nurse says "Well, let's get this little girl to cry!" Lucy begins to take a few breaths and cries her little lungs free of what she had been living in for 9 months.
  Our baby just had a baby!  Eric and I are grandparents?  Wait no, we can't be grandparents... Well, let's just accept that we are.  I walked, (ran) out to the waiting room where Auntie Sadie and Pops are sitting, pull out my phone, and flash them a picture of a 2 minute old baby!!  She's here... Meet Lucy Joy!  "But wait," I tell them, "You can't go in for an hour.  They need their golden hour."  Golden hour, shmolden hour, we want to see Lucy!   Well things have changed a little in the past 15 years.  Apparently mom and dad need to snuggle the baby BY THEMSELVES for one hour!  That's so unfair to us GRANDPARENTS! Well, I've already made the decision that I will not be "that Grandma"  I guess it will start with the GOLDEN HOUR!  So we go to lunch.

2 weeks have gone by and I already have 5 selfies with her to put in my Nana/Lucy selfie folder on my phone.  The folder where I am going to do 1 selfie a week for a year...yep there's already 5!  I've been told by facebook friends that we are going to need an entire cloud of our own for all of our pictures and also that I haven't stopped smiling for 2 weeks.  This is all true...the best part of it all, watching Eric be Pops!  He holds this lucky little girl and snuggles her and talks to her when he thinks no one sees them.  I thought I was in love with him before...this is an entire new kind of love seeing your husband fall in love with his granddaughter.

     And here we are at 5 weeks!  Hundreds of pictures and memories already filling our hearts.  The newest memory that was made was Lucy's first trip to The Lake.  When Eric and I bought this lake house, it was for not only us and our kids, but our grandchildren.  Little did we know just 5 years later we would bring Lucy here.  We pulled up and a feeling I hadn't expected shot right through my body.  The feeling of dreams turning into reality.  Lake Life at it's best...filled with happiness and true blessings.  This grandparent thing is beyond anything I had expected.  Everyone who has had this experience had told me "There's nothing like it".   Guess What...There's nothing like it.
"Blessed are those who spoil and snuggle...hug and hope...pray and pamper...For They Shall Be Called Grandparents <3

My Life...My Love...My Bashert

. 

I needed the right person to come into my life at the right time, and he did.  He was, is, and always will be my "My Beshert"

Everyone has this person, a person who you are meant to meet.  Maybe you haven't met this person yet, but you will. It may be for a short period of time, it may last the rest of your life, but this individual is out there… and for a reason.  I met mine during one of the two hardest times of my life.  The first being when my mom came home from rehabilitation after 9 long months in the hospital.  I was a freshman in college and I was having a hard time not being able to be home.  He supported me through the other one as well, when my mom passed away, but little did he know just what an impact he had on my life at 18.  He got me through a time that I never thought I could handle.
      Time went on...we grew up... together.  We went from 18-22 years old at the U of M.  We definitely had many ups and downs, but those 4 amazing years were lived with many adventures, laughs, surprises, and in the end, marriage and 3 kids. Our life together has been beyond beautiful.  Our years living in the Air Force were sometimes a little rough, but once again, he got us through this part of life with laughs, smiles, and optimism.  I wasn't always an optimist, but once I learned how much better life can be with a positive outlook, I realized why live any other way?  We began to feed off of each other in the way we looked at things.  We have gotten through 29 years of obstacles from religion, living half of our lives apart, job layoffs, as well as losing a parent and grandparents.   This may be no more than many other couples, but we would get through things together...without fighting.   We look to each other for strength and love, and it is always there. 
      Life changes rapidly and it sometimes can be hard to realize that as our kids are aging so are we.  We may look older and feel older, but "we" are not aging.  He still makes me laugh myself to tears, He takes care of me as if we just started dating, he impresses me to no end.  There is nothing he would not do for me, our kids, family, friends...anyone.  He is the most giving, unselfish, person I've ever known.  I feel so completely blessed to have found this man and sometimes so undeserving to be loved by him.  He sacrifices his time and happiness to make sure everyone around him is happy.  You do not find this in very many people.  I have no words to express how excited I am to move into our next phase of life together.  To see him be a Grandfather to our first granddaughter is going to be one of the most incredible experiences yet.  Our life is a journey, and there is no one else I would rather be on this journey with.  I wish for everyone to experience the kind of love we have found, if even for a short time...to feel as loved and to love someone with all your heart.  Little did I know that when I walked past him in the dorm, when we were 18, that I had walked past "My Beshert"  The one God chose for me.  I love you Eric

May his memory be a blessing...In Jewish tradition, each time you think of someone who has passed on or say their name, they are blessed and so are you. The memory you have of them turns into a blessing for you and for their soul.

Kevin~Jake~Alex

      I sit on my front step and watch the cars come and go, in and out of their driveway, and I sadly think, "I can't even imagine..."  Then I remember that everything happens for a reason, right?  Good or Bad, there is a reason that things happen.  Right now I can't think of any reason for this to happen to any family, but then I think "I am grateful for those who have been supporting them, praying for them, and keeping his memory alive.....if his memory is to be a blessing, his soul will be blessed beyond our lifetimes."

5 weeks ago, our 16 year old next door neighbor, Kevin, passed away in a car accident.  This child's family, The Messers, (John, Kimmarie, and Alex) have had an outpouring of love and support from family, friends, teachers, coaches, and I'm sure strangers as well.  I have witnessed a sense of love and community far past my expectations. Tragedy struck and all of these people came together. I live in a big city, a city where there are too many high school teams and school districts to count... where you feel like your child may just be a number. 

Until this...a child passes away, and all of a sudden your community becomes one.  You realize just how much of an impact your family and your child have had on so many people throughout the years.  As I sit on my front step, I watch individuals who are feeling so much loss, come and go from this home, a home that is suffering the same great loss but to a much greater depth. Individuals who only want to help them get through the darkest days by bringing the beautiful, bright memories that Kevin brought to so many people. 

 Kevin was a son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin, friend, athlete... He touched so many lives in so many different ways, that everyone wants to reach out and offer support.  This family will never feel alone.  Meals had been planned for the month of July, but because so many families wanted to help, this went through August.  A memorial fund had been set up that far exceeded anyones dreams!  The Messer's have donated, in Kevin's name, equipment to numerous football programs, equipment that cannot always be afforded by the kids or their families.  The outpouring of everyone's need to do something has been brought out in a way that Kevin would be so proud of.  Kevin's friends still are stopping by the house to "hang out" with his family.  They are welcomed into his home because this is what his family needs as well.  The sights and sounds of friends...talking, laughing, joking, and sometimes crying.  The healing slowly starts...
     There are many things that people will miss about Kevin and think about everyday. For me it is mostly sounds...The baseball games in the backyard, balls hit into our yard for Cody to chase, and especially the sound of basketballs!  Here I sit, thinking...and listening...
Everyone will have their own thoughts, feelings, and memories...And because Kevin touched so many lives, his soul will be blessed forever

"Hanging With Old Friends And Saying "Remember When"

1987

  Old Friends

 Or 

Old Friends?  

Camp.

Sports.

Pre~school.

High School.

College.

Military.

Life.

 Just as we have cherished friends that we have met later in life and they know us inside and out, we have friends that have stuck with us, whether through memories or actually still being a part of our lives.   Many of these Individuals are friends that were made during or after college in our adult or "older" life (hence "old" friends).  For the lucky ones, you have friends that you have known almost your whole life (hence the second "old" friends).  These individuals are friends who have the pictures of you when you were like 6 years old in Brownie uniforms or prom or playing basketball in high school.  They are the ones who know why you cry when you look at old pictures of your mom because they knew her well, they grew up with her.  To keep these friendships intact takes effort and traditions!  You may live close by or you may live across the country, and you may not talk to these friends for what feels like decades.  The coolest thing about childhood friendships like that is that these people knew you 40 years ago and they are that same person after so many years.

Friends Since 1960's

Friends since 1980's

Friends since 1970's

1990

  This past weekend both my husband and I were lucky enough to spend some quality time with our childhood friends and our kids at the same time.  My daughter and I went to a camp reunion where she spent time with her childhood friends from the past 13 years and she got to see me catch up with my friends from 40 years ago!  My husband, youngest daughter, and son-in-law went to Canada with my husbands childhood friends. (The 4 amazing guys pictured above have been best friends since grade school.)  They have made this a tradition every summer for the past 6 years  The kids get to see them share old memories while making new ones.  Sharing the importance of lifetime friendships with our kids will hopefully teach them how having these special people still a part of your life when you are pushing 50, is one of the most extraordinary feelings in the world.  If you are lucky enough to have these people in your life, (even if it is through facebook!) you should consider your life very full.  I saw many this weekend who I haven't seen for years, but felt like no time had gone by.  Teaching our kids about how to be a good friend will help them to understand the importance of having these individuals in their lives years from now.  When you have experienced certain things as a child, such as camps or sports, where you shared special memories or moments, these are the things you will never forget!

LOVE. WARMTH. KINDNESS. SMELLS. FEELINGS. MEMORIES. LIFE

If You Build It They Will Come~

If you build it...They will come.  Or better yet, in our case if you buy it (with plans to rebuild it and retire in it) they will come.  That is our secret plan...our kids will never want to leave.  Call it what you want, the cabin, the lake, up north...it all means the same thing...togetherness.  We bought our "dream" 4 years ago on the shores of the beautiful Lower South Long Lake.  As we go into summer #5 we know that our kids will keep coming back.  It's not a question of "if" they can come for the weekend, it's "how many nights" they can stay!   My husband and I both grew up spending summers on the water. It became very evident to us that we needed to continue  this lake life tradition into not only our kids lives but someday our grandchildren's lives.  Well, so far so good.  We have met the most amazing neighbors who have turned into friends through boating, campfires, s'mores and many starry nights.  We looked at so many houses on so many lakes, but as soon as we walked into the house on South Long Lake we knew this was it!

Not only was our underlying intent of buying the cabin for our kids, but for extended family and friends as well...
Our "secret plan" is in motion.
4 years in and 4 family reunions later...
The same weekend every summer...
25guests (and getting bigger every year!).
boats.
jetskis.
bikes.
toys.
tents.
campers.
campfires.
food.
dogs.
babies.
family!

We have made so many incredible memories in so few years that we can't even to begin to imagine what's to come.  Our best memory yet...
our now son-in-law asking our daughter to marry him on her 23rd birthday on the dock at sunrise.  This happened during our 3rd annual Family Weekend!  Every weekend we are there we are making new memories.  It is very rare that you will find that the weekend is "just us".  Although we do cherish the quiet weekends we have there, they are few and far between.  We welcome everyone and friends of everyone...our door is always open and that makes us happy! Lake Life Is Good😊