ma·tri·arch ˈmātrēˌärk/ 2018

ma·tri·arch

ˈmātrēˌärk/

noun

noun: matriarch; plural noun: matriarchs

1. a woman who is the head of a family or tribe.

   • an older woman who is powerful within a family or organization.

     
     

     "a domineering matriarch"

Happy Birthday

December 31st, 1909 a baby girl was born, she was named Beatrice Rebecca Marcus

AKA: NANA

This baby girl would grow up to be one of the 2 matriarchs of my family.  She and my Grandma Esther were 2 of the strongest most loving people I know.  I grew up with traditions, stability, and the comfort of knowing that I always had support in anything I did...good or bad.

     Last week someone told me that I am now the matriarch of my family.  Now this is a tough role to follow. Not only because I have big shoes to fill, but because I am 50 years old...aren't matriarchs like...old? In my mind I now need to learn to cook, bake, knit, and make our home a warm and welcoming place that our kids and grandkids will always want to come. 

    This can't be too hard, right?  All I need to do is keep traditions strong, love flowing, and afghans knitted...I can do 2 of the 3!  So you are probably thinking whats with the knitting?  As long as I can remember my Nana was knitting scarves, hats and best of all afghans.  I can literally walk into any room in our house and find a "Nana" afghan.  Keep in mind that my Nana passed away almost 8 years ago and these are still all over our home...

Every time a baby was born a blanket was knitted, every time we moved I was asked the question "What colors are your new house?", every time the kids changed their bedroom colors a new afghan was made.  This was the comfort and stability that sustained us for years.  I have even kept all of the baby afghans for my grandchildren.

So again, in my mind I need a way that everyone will connect me to the word "Matriarch"  I'm not sure that I can live up to that word...I like to cook, but I'm nowhere near being remembered for that, or baking either for that matter (baking skipped 2 generations) ...And I can't knit, and I don't intend to learn now!  The only one I would want to learn from would be Nana.  She tried to teach me when I was a little girl and I got as far as a belt. This meant I could knit one long line, no going back. To take the time years ago wasn't a priority, I wish it would have been!

So I guess with that I am going to have to come up with some special way to be that "Nana", that "Matriarch".  What will my family think of when they think of me?  I don't know that I am quite ready to take on the martriarch role yet, but I will however come up with something that will make my kids and grandkids know how much I love them and what they mean to me.

  2018 will hopefully be my year to figure this out...

I will let you know when I do, but until then I wish you all a very happy & healthy

New Year filled with so much love!

Brynn

AKA~Nana still figuring out the matriarch thing

L'Shana Tova...A time for traditions~New and Old :)

I look around my kitchen...looking for them, and I feel them all around me.  As I cook and I prepare for Rosh Hashana, just as I have for the last 20 something years I realize that this is so completely different.  I takes me a half a second to figure it out...I am the grandma now (OK Nana).  I know I was a Grandma last year but the difference between having an 8 month old vs a 20 month old granddaughter is night and day.  This one moves, runs, jumps, empties cupboards...but best of all wants to be Nanas helper.  Is this where traditions start?  This young?  All I know is that my earliest memory of the holidays is spending one day in Nanas kitchen cupboards playing with a purple plastic watering can and the next day spending the afternoon in Grandma Esthers backyard picking apples...or crabapples...whatever they were, it was fun!  I walk into my kitchen with Lucy, and the first thing she walks to is my snack drawer for a granola bar.  This is a "thing" already.  She knows where Nanas snacks are.  Can I consider this a tradition?  Sure, why not?  Many memories are being made in this tiny little head of hers.

     So as she is playing intently in the tupperware, I am peeling carrots.  Before I know it she is staring up at me with the "uppie" face.  We slide a stool over to wear I am so that she can watch, but that just isn't enough.  She wants to be part of this dinner prep!  As she grabs for my veggie peeler, I swap it with a very "not" sharp plastic round spoon.  Next I hear a "pease" as she looks at the carrots so of coarse I give her one and she starts peeling away and putting them in the bowl. (this is where I say "Great Job!" and put them back in the unpeeled pile) At this point I realize it...I am not only a Nana, but I am a Nana creating traditions and memories.  How did I get here?  When did this happen?  Wasn't I just the one sitting on the floor playing, watching this magical holiday meal come to life by my grandmas and my mom?

  Creating traditions and not letting them end takes a lot of hard work, time, and commitment. Today, most families are very spread out throughout the country and even the world.  This is where we need to take initiative to make our own memories with friends who become family, and strangers who become friends...and eventually family.  Making sure that Lucy and our future grandchildren have a base of what holidays, happiness and love is all about, is just about as important to me as them learning about their heritage and why what we do is so important.  Whether it be with blood relatives or our closest friends, these are the things that count.

 Today Lucy and I started a new tradition.  We went to temple together...Just Lucy and Nana.  I'm not sure that she knew the difference between opening the ark and opening her fruit snacks, however I do know that she took it all in!

 She gave her prayer book "kisses" as the Rabbi brought the Torah by her, and she clapped with such enthusiasm to songs that she will hear year after year.  I have always made our religous traditions such an important part of life for our kids, something that is now up to them to carry on. None the less, I feel that it is still going to be a commitment of mine to keep forever.

L'Shana Tova to you all...Wishing you all a Sweet New Year!

Happiness is the byproduct of a meaningful life.

רֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה

Sweet Year

‎

May you be inscribed for a sweet year filled with good health, prosperity

A Complete Life...Happy 109th Birthday

"My Life Is A Very Complete One." This was quoted to a reporter that interviewed Joe E Smith on June 4th, 1982.  Just 20 months before he would pass away very suddenly...Today he turns 109 years old, only 76 of those years would he get to enjoy life to the fullest.

Was he sick?  Yes...

Did anyone know? No... 

There was no way he was going to burden anyone with him not feeling 100%.  That's just who he was, everyone else came first, literally until the day that he died.  I was 17 years old when my Papa passed away and I did not even know he was sick.  Most thought he passed away from a sudden heart attack.

                                                  Truth is, he had cancer...no one knew.

                                                   

This was a man of true commitment to everything he did.  His commitment to the Jewish Community was undeniable.  He did everything he could to insure that "The Center" would always run.   (That's what the JCC was referred to before it became "The J".)  In his will, he had set up an endowment that would sustain for years (it is still sustaining).  This endowment fund gives a certain amount of money to youth organizations yearly.  This is something that was so dear to his heart, and is once again, something I never knew.  There are so many things I am learning about this man I called Papa.

 Even thought he had this commitment that was always upheld to the community throughout his years, another commitment came first...to take care of his family .  He had a beautiful wife, Becky, a son Harlan and a daughter Sandi.  This little girl (my momma) unfortunately had Polio.  In the 1940's polio was such a new disease that they had only the ability to try new things to help her.  She was a strong one just like him, but she needed a lot of care.  He would do whatever it took to make sure she recovered from this horrible disease.  

He took her to the Hot Springs in Arkansas just for the warm water therapy.  He and my Nana would visit her very often until they could bring her home.  When they could bring her home she would need to be able to swim, swim a lot, to keep her muscles as strong as they could.  Because of this, he decided to buy a lake home on the shores of Pewaukee Lake.  Not only did my mom grow up spending her summers there but so did the rest of my family.  We lived there for 3 months out of every year with our Nana and Papa.  7 of us, My mom and dad, my sister and brother, and Nana and Papa.  We were (and still are) an extremely close family because of this life we knew.  I knew my Papa in a completely different way than anyone he worked with or volunteered with.  This guy came home from work in the summer, threw on his swim trunks (that's what he called them), went for a swim, and every night after dinner it was ice cream time! (lots of times it was actually root beer floats)!  And just when you thought it was time for bed, on came baseball! Whether he was watching it or just listening to it on the radio, it was baseball time!

 At least once a week we would be sitting at dinner and hear the sound of the piano as he walked through our family room,  into our kitchen. "Howdoodledoo!"  And in he walked with the classic pink and brown polka dot bag with mint chocolate chip and chocolate chip ice cream for us.  .

Never once did he let us get by him without him putting his cold cold hands on our faces and getting a kiss!!😘

Before he would stop at our house, he would have just finished a long day at Frank B Hall. All I remember from Frank B Hall would be the pens, pads of paper, and especially the datebook that he gave to my mom yearly!

This Insurance company surpassed expectations because of the hard work and many hours that Joe E Smith put into this company.  He received many awards throughout his insurance years and was ultimately named to a life membership in The Franklin Million Dollar Conference.  Life's membership is the highest distinction bestowed by the company.

In between his many ventures of building his insurance company, raising funds for his synagogue, taking care of his family, and making sure that "The Center" was running smoothly, he was an accomplished musician.  In high school he took up the saxophone and later formed his own band. ~Joe Smith and His Orchestra~...yes, that was the name...His band played at jewish weddings, dances, and shows from 1929-1938.  From there he played the piano and taught my Uncle and my mom to play as well.  A very talented man my Papa was...

To say that he was very talented and honored would be an understatement.  He was a humble and modest man that had a heart of gold and a smile a mile wide.   His wife (My Nana) was always so proud and supportive of everything he did.  Through his many dinners, meetings and awards banquets, she was always by his side. She was a woman full of love, pride, and giving just as he was.  The two of them made our community so very proud.  They had this undeniable love for each other that showed in everything they did.  It didn't matter if it was for the temple, the center, their family or friends, they did it together with every ounce they had...tirelessly.




In all of this that I have mentioned, also came a love for travel and photography...He and my nana traveled the world!  And every time they came back we would all get together and look at the hundreds of pictures (in slide form on a big screen in the living room...and with of course ice cream)).  We learned about all of the amazing places they visited and heard many incredible stories.  His love for everything in his life was so apparent by how much he wanted to share.  There was nothing about him that said "me".  It was always "you" "us" "them".  This in some way was the eptiome of what he stood for.  Everyone mattered and he let that be known in one interview that I just recently learned about.

The seven of us away from our lake life...at an award ceremony

Forest Gump photo op!
Papa with Golda Meir

This article is about all of the things that he stood for.  Volunteering, helping, leading, mentoring, loving...this man loved his life of community and family.  The entire jewish community knew who he was and what he had accomplished to help.  At all of the dinners that I attended as a little girl he was always so quiet and humble.  These men and women would always stand up on stage and talk about all of the things he had done.  I now wonder...when did he ever have time to have ice cream with us?  But he always did!

Minutes Of The Executive Committee Meeting

Thursday, June 14th, 1984

Joe E Smith Memorial

Mert Rotter informed the Committee that following discussion with the Smith Family, they felt a fitting tribute to Joe's memory would be the establishment of a Distinguished Volunteer Award.  This award would be given out at the annual meeting and possibly thereafter...

Here we are 33 years later, so the "possibly thereafter" has been upheld.  I can imagine that the first few years of recipients personally knew my Papa.  However as the years went on this Joe E Smith man became a name without a face.  I think that these amazing volunteers realize what an honor it is to receive this award but truthfully have no idea why.  This year I was happy to present the award to someone who personally knew Joe E Smith.  He knew him as my Papa.  Bill Bodner could actually put a face with a name because our parents and grandparents were very close growing up.  I would love for future award recipients to really know what it means to our family and what it would mean to my Papa to know that his passion lives on in others.  

As I thought I knew this man very well, I have recently learned a great deal more about him and what he stood for.  The more I learned, the more I loved, and the more I loved, the more I want to be just like him.  He was a man so full of life, until the day that he died...Full of love, family, and dedication to everyone around him.  It is no wonder that he was quoted "My Life Is A Very Complete One"

Social Media Anonymous

I am a social media addict...I love Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and well...even my email I check a little to often.  Snapchat? No thanks, I have spent enough time trying to figure it out that I just don't think it's for me :( It finally has taken my husband, who took notice to the fact that I ALWAYS have my phone, if not in my hand, then an arms reach away.  My 16 year old had to tell me to just live my life, "Not everyone needs to know everything mom!"
That, coming from a teenager made it very real and true.  

When I am with Eric, (my husband), I always have some excuse as to why I am looking at my phone.  Whether it is "I just wanted to see what the weekend weather looks like!"  or "I'm just checking to see if someone answered my (very unimportant) email" or even " I am just checking to see if Dani posted a Lucy picture"...since the last time I checked(10 minutes ago!)  There is always a reason, an excuse, a way of getting out of the guilt of looking at my phone.  So yes, My name is Brynn, and I am a social media addict.

This brings me to the last year or so.  I have not written a blog since last August!  (So, if you are new to this blog...feel free to read my others! I used to blog a lot!) Every time I got online to write something I got lost and misguided...I would not even get as far as getting to my blog site.  

Here's what would happen.  I get on the computer, bring up Google Chrome, think about what I want to write, in which case I need some pictures and quotes to add to my blog post.  First I know the pictures I want will be on Facebook, so I find the blue "F" on my screen, and then it happens.  Oh, look what happened today in Middle East, that's scary, oh look at what she's selling at an online party...that's cute...oh look, that dog video is hilarious!!  I watch it, cracking up to myself, then when it is over, POOF...another one starts...and another and another...OK Brynn, enough. X out!   Then I see who's having birthdays, and well you know the rest.  I get so caught up in looking for pictures (NOT) that I decide, maybe I should look for some quotes to go with my blog.  PINTEREST!  Oh shit, here we go into that never ending dark hole.  What was it that I was going to write about again?  Oh yes, that's right...oh look at that cute lake sign!  This page is amazing, and a lot of it I could make myself.  PIN.PIN.PIN...NOT NOW!!  OOPS, I still need to lesson plan, I should go to my Lets Teach, Lets Play board.  I remember that I saved a bunch of fun spring and Passover ideas for my kiddos at school.  I then log out of Pinterest and open my lesson planning doc.  By the time I finish lesson planning, it is time to either go somewhere or make dinner...hold on, let me check my phone either for directions to where we are going or for a fun dinner recipe!
Which brings me back to...SMA, SOCIAL MEDIA ADDICTION.
Maybe I am going a little overboard, because the whole social media thing means pictures, and pictures are the meaning of life.  Or is it?  As you all know, pictures are my (and my daughters) thing.  Taking pictures for me was a love ever since I was little.  My Papa bought me a camera when I was like 10 and I have been non stop ever since.

I took pictures of my crazy brother and sister, our housekeeper fishing, my dad sleeping, my mom grilling and even my dog pooping! I have many photos in a book to prove it.  Until it became a "thing" to post pictures, I was just happy to show people in a paper album.  But when Facebook became Facebook, OMG! it opened up an entire new world to me.  Not only could I take pictures of the people, places, and things that I loved, but with the click of a button, I could share with the world what made me happy, or sad, or excited, or scared, or crazy!  Yep, social media can expose every emotion from a picture.  And do others really care?  Well, of coarse they do...I get a lot of likes you know...are they liking the fact that I am a positive person and I never post anything negative, or do they like the pictures I post, or are they just scrolling through Facebook absentmindedly pushing "like" because its a habit?  Do you really like what I made for dinner last night?  Or the fact that my dog passed away?  Oh wait, now Facebook has emotions of its own to go right along with the moods that we are posting ourselves in.

I think you get the point of this blog post. But what really has gotten to me lately,  is the fact that for 3/4 my life, and all the generations before me, there was none of this.  No one needed to know what everyone else was doing, where they were vacationing, and who they were with.  It was all about being in the moment, where you were and who you were with.  If you felt so inclined, you could tell others at a later date, and it was just as special.  Recently, and not so recently I have lost people who were a very special part of my life... and these people had so much love and happiness and didn't have to document it.  They were truly a part of each other's lives with no "hold on, let me take a picture...Wait, let me look, wait, the lighting was bad let's take it again, ok, that's cute, let me post it real quick and then let's continue our moment of fun"...

On the anniversary of my moms death I actually said to my sister, " I wish I had a selfie with mom!"  Seriously...did I really just say that.  I did and then I once again realized, I have SMA...I have a selfie book of Lucy and I am no longer afraid or embarrassed to admit that, I am one step closer to recovery.  

*one thing that I do love is the time hop aspect of the things posted in past years.  Some sad, some funny, some just stupid, but watching life go by in pictures kind of cool.   And one other positive aspect is that my dad has accounts so that he can see pictures of not only his grandchildren but his great grandchildren as well.  He doesn't feel the need to post anything, he never even likes anything, he is just happy to see the pictures :)

I can't say that I will completely and forever stay away from social media...I will never leave Pinterest, my house is cute because of it, and I never would have gotten hooked on Apple Cider Vinegar hacks without it, and Instagram...well, I do love pictures, so... But I will not however, spend so much time trying to capture and post every moment of my life, husband, kids and beautiful Lucy, that I am missing half of life's perfectly perfect moments.

So, this summer, I will write more, read more, enjoy more, and mostly just not document more for the pure satisfaction of being "liked". But everyone else...keep it up because you make so many laugh, cry, smile and feel so many of the emotions that you are trying to make them feel.  I love all of it, but I have just found myself spending way to much time with phone in hand!

My name is Brynn and I am a social media addict...

Not "what would have been"...just Happy Birthday...

Many of us wish our lost loved ones a Happy "what would have been" Birthday...Because someone you love passed away, that does not mean they are not celebrating a birthday.  I believe they are celebrated not only on their birthdays, but every day.  Today is my moms 77th birthday.
      I remember baking many cakes for her, wrapping many presents in newspaper for her, and celebrating every year by BBQing at the lake before we would move back to the city for school to start.  August 31st, every year meant not only the end of summer, but celebrating another year of this most beautiful woman you could ever imagine.
     You know from past blog entries how special my mom was, so I will just keep this one on the short side by saying you are thought of every single day, you are missed every single night when I awake and realize I had just seen you in a dream.  You are seen every second in all of your children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren (who you would be so proud to have sitting in your lap!)  You are remembered every birthday with a card that gets tucked away (I am up to 17 this year) and balloons that are sent your way into the sunny blue sky.  Mom,  Happy Unlimited Birthday ❤️.
I Love and Miss You Every Day!

A Bump In The Road

#shouldhaveattended

 10 days ago I hit a bump in the road. I didn't hit a bump in my day, my week, or even my year... I hit a bump in the road...
on my bike. But this literal bump in the road has taught me many things in the past week.

First lesson being, even if you don't feel like wearing your helmet, wear it! At the last minute something told me to put mine on, yet seven stitches, a concussion and many scrapes, scars, and bruises later I'm glad I did.

     A bump in the road literally means – slow down – was I moving too fast on my bike? Yes… Was I moving too fast in my life? Yes… I'm always moving towards what's next.
     The summer was an amazing one, A constant of plans, friends, family, and lake (which as you know is how we roll, but that's what we love!). As Im always trying to keep moving ahead, I was trying to catch up to Sadie on my bike, I hit this bump in the road, which in some round about way, told me to slow down – and that it did. With this concussion came an entire new way of seeing things… In slow motion.  As much as I hate feeling the way that I do, I am realizing that not being able to think fast or talk fast has taken a little stress out of my life – not that my life is that stressful, but just putting everything on hold for 10 days (so far) makes me realize that not everything has to be done instantaneously.  Not every text or email needs to be answered within two minutes of receiving it.  I haven't been able to be on Facebook, Pinterest, email, watch TV or text (which I can't say I haven't been doing).  I've also realized that not being connected at all times is not such a crazy way to live. I know that it has become the norm but trust me… Take a step back for a morning, a day, even a week~You won't miss much.  I am as guilty as anyone else to being a social media addict, but I must say as much as it sucks to be as "out of it" as I've been, I've been forced to slow down.  I'm not so sure I will go back to the way I was. I've reverted to talking on the phone more to family and friends, something that had become so inconsistent.  Having friends stop by and sit on my couch and talk about the day has actually been the best. 

     The last and most important part of my "bump in the road" was seeing how my husband Eric and I raised our kids.
Eric took amazing care of me for two days until I made him go to work.
At this point he left my care in the hands of our kids, only one of which, Sadie, still lives at home. Dani and Jake both live in their own homes about 20 minutes away.  Jake spent two days to include spending the night just before leaving for Germany. He stayed to be sure if I needed anything he'd be there. I slept and he kept checking on me.  That meant the world to me!  Dani spent hours here with Lucy just to keep Nanas mind off of feeling so miserable, and of course it worked!  She also was a constant for me to know she was there if I needed anything.  She received many phone calls from me crying for reasons I didn't even know!   Sadie was my chauffeur, even though my irritability got the best of both of us. She cut the lawn, did laundry, dishes, and just sat with me… I know she got annoyed at times not having my constant energy and attention but she is getting through it!  Eric called every chance he got but was always careful not wake me up. He'd check in by calling Sadie. Little did he know that just hearing his voice was the biggest part of my days!
And then there's Gracie,
who ultimately was the best thing to come into our lives after we lost Cody. She stuck right by me all day long – right next to me until my days got better when she then she followed me to sit outside or in the family room.



 As you can see, taking love, family, and compassion for granted will be no more!

 Needless to say this bump in the road provided a lesson that's necessary for us to evolve  – and get us to where ever it is that we need to be.

By The Way...This was written by talk to text...Because I still shouldn't be on the computer!
It felt like I was making a podcast!  I've listened to a lot of those while staring at the walls!!

simple mom (and Gracie)

#Goldengirl

So, just a quick update to let you all know that I'm back to simple mom and her dog. Gracie is our 7 1/2-year-old rescue Golden who has fit into our lives just perfectly. I'm sure I'll have many more stories to tell but for now here she is.