Cheer The F*^k Up~And stop stressing

I don’t swear…ask my kids

I sometimes swear…ask my husband

     Sometimes stress can take over and words will flow out of my mouth. The words I never let my kids say growing up.  I never let them say the word “Hate or Shut Up”.  So you can imagine swearing was completely out of the realm of being ok.  

     However different kinds of stresses can bring out many emotions that cause you to let go of some strong principles  Not only swearing (loudly) but also putting blame on people who don’t always deserve to be blamed.  Someone may have no idea that they put pressure on you or did something to make you feel this strongly. You need to confront this person immediately.  You will usually find out that they had no idea and will do whatever they can to help or apologize. And if they don’t see that, you don’t need them in your life for a while.  Sounds pretty austere, but if it is going to put you in a better place emotionally than so be it.  

     Many stresses are brought on by outside circumstances.  The way that you deal with them is up to you.  If it is something that is out of your control, all you can do is take a step back and take a deep breath.  Yes, that sounds very textbook to hear, but if you think about it, stopping to breathe allows you to rethink about your reaction to something, something that you can’t do anything about.  I mean really, if the situation is out of your hands, then let it go until there is something you can do.

     If your stress is brought on by something that you can control, by all means swear or yell and then take action.  There are so many ways to get through whatever the cause.  Talk to the source, get a list checked off, figure out what part of your stress can be relieved first.  Then piece by piece the feeling will slowly fade.

     Everyone is living a different life and your worlds are far apart in many ways.  Even the best of friends can each be feeling stresses of different levels. Various aspects of life, including health, employment, family relationships, relocation, marital status, financial matters, travel experiences, physical discomfort, emotional distress, can all contribute to a range of feelings.  I could go on and on to the causes but let’s talk about the effect.  Others seeing your not yourself.

     Which brings us to outsiders looking in.  Family, friends, co workers…Do not let anyone tell you that your stress is not valid.  Everyone has their own threshold and you should never hear that your stress is not validated.  There are so many positive life events that are exciting, but will not always be easy.  A wedding, a new baby, a new home, a vacation.  These things are valid stressors.  They are not the moments in life that bring hurtfulness, loneliness, helplessness, but they absolutely are valid reasons to get a little anxious.  

     One last stress that I would like to touch on…if you are a parent, you will feel a little bit of worry each and every day.  From the day your beautiful baby enters the world, through tough school days, college applications and every decision that is made after.  Sometimes it is a little part of you and sometimes it is your entire soul.  You always want the best for them and their happiness is your goal.  You will stress when they stress. You will stress when they don't even know they should be.  Just always keep in mind that they will be ok.  You have done your best and they know that as well. 

Whatever the reason is for your stress, take a step back and put everything in perspective.  There has to be one positive in your life for every negative.  That one positive will get you through.  I promise.  Lean on loved ones, ask for help…CRY!  Good or bad, you will feel the push to start again.  Oh, and also, BREATHE.

And Cheer The Fuck Up!

     

     

 

Find Joy In The Journey

I just want to preface this with the fact that I was never any sort of athlete or even a coordinated individual until after I had kids.  😉

Challange

     There are many different personal journeys that you could be taking.  The journey that I am recently finding my joy in is my health journey.  My husband and I have always made our health a priority.  We have a mix of diabetes and heart health that are against us.  We have worked hard to create a beautiful family that we plan to be with as long as we can possibly can.  

     Our kids see us as being active, as well as our grandkids, and that is important for them to see.  We were challenged by them to a fitness competition this past December.  Everyone received a calendar for the Month.  All that needed to be done was 30 minutes or 3 miles every day…3 for 31…easy right?  Well, easier said than done.  Life gets in the way.  Kids, work, travel, sickness, pain…Life.  But all that needed to be done was to move your body.  You don’t need to run or bike or strength train, you can do yoga, you can stretch, you can walk.  You can play with your kids, you can hike, just move your body.  

     If you start moving your body and keep it moving when you are young, it will be easier to keep going.  If you didn’t start when you were in your 20’s or 30’s, you can start in your 40’s and 50’s.  It is never too late.  Believe it or not you can even start much later in life.  It may take longer to feel strong and be comfortable, however you can do it, and it will make a difference in your emotional being as well as your physical being. 

                                                            Graceful

     Grow old gracefully, or sometimes not so gracefully.  It doesn’t always look graceful working out as a 58 year old.  It is not pretty.  When you get to be 58, you get to the point when it doesn’t matter what you look like at the gym.  It just matters that you’re there and staying strong, or working off some anxiety.

                                                       Fortunate

     Eric and I are fortunate in that we have role models to look up to.  We didn’t get this way on our own.  Erics mom is 80 years old.  On any given day you can find her biking, walking and best of all kayaking.  She, with her strong will, raises and lowers her kayak, by herself, on and off of her car.  The first time I watched her do this I offered to help.  There was no way she was letting me. “I need to be able to do this by myself!”   She has always been a very active person!  I took her on a trip overseas 11 years ago and I personally could barely keep up to her.  To know her is to appreciate the amount of health that she radiates.  This is a great example of someone not giving in to growing older.

Optimisim

     My dad will be 86 next month.  I always remember my dad on Sunday mornings leaving to go play tennis.  He always kept his health a priority through the many ups and downs life gave him.  Up until not very long ago I would call him and he would say “Hi Honey, I’m on the treadmill, can I call you back?”  The smile on my face when I would hear that made me push myself more.  He has recently had some issues that have required him to slow down a little bit physically, but his mental health is 100%. His optimism amazes me every day.  Mental health comes from strength within which also can stem from physical health. 

Mobility

     Staying mobile at any age is extremely important.  Mobility is something that you can control, until you can’t.  Sometimes things happen that are beyond your control.  But as long as you can get through the thoughts of  “I can’t” and do what you can, that’s all that matters. It doesn’t have to be running a marathon or even a mile, Just movement is going to make all the difference in the world. 

Please just remember it is never too late to start, or regroup and restart.  The stronger you are inside and out the easier life will feel.  

Just remember

“The Joy Is In The Journey”

💔

'  

My heart is broken. Broken for a friendship from 31 years ago. The memories of this friendship are ones that came flooding back when I heard she and her husband were in a tragic car accident.  It has been 11 days of thinking, crying, smiling and laughing at memories and old pictures.  We had not been in touch a lot over the years until recently. We had been making plans..the 3 of us, Barri, Tami and I, to get together without this fall without fail.  This isn’t going to happen.  

 It was that kind of friendship were you can go a long time without connecting, and when you do you are back to 1993.  I am relizing that mysweet memories of Tami were made without social media, no cell phones taking up our silences in conversations.  It was this…shared baby showers, Tami timing me through my contractions with Jake, playdates that turned into happy hours, (our kids were only weeks apart), Squadron parties, phone conversations while our kids napped and we cleaned our houses…with the cordless phone between our chins and shoulders, setting off fire alarms at base lodging where our husbands left us (and 3 kids) while they flew, disney birthday parties, and so much more.  She was a confidant, and the one who I could always count on through Air Force ups and downs.  She was the one who made you laugh until you cried, She was “Tami”  and for those of you who knew her you know what I mean.  Your generosity in life will be carried on through the lives you are now saving.  May Your Memory Be A Blessing Always…

  RIP my friend ❤️

  

Hikes & Hearts ❤️

Happy Tuesday! Welcome to Hikes and Hearts ❤️ 

Hikes and Hearts is a way for me to share with you the most beautiful parts of the country through pictures and hearts.  I have always loved taking pictures and sharing them.  I am far from a professional photographer or even amateur at that.  But I do my best and I get these memories to keep. 

Eric and I recently (in the past 4 empty nesting years) have taken to hiking, camping, and mountain biking. Taking pictures and making notes along the way has given me the chance to share what we have found and the scenery that we have fallen in love with.  My memory tends to fail me more often than not, so I rely on Eric to guide me through places that we have previously visited.  I have decided that documenting might not only help myself, but anyone who also has interest in seeing parts of the country  through my lens, and for some, experience all of the sights personally.  I plan to write about where the hikes are and the best way to get the most out of them. 

That is where the hikes come from…now for the hearts.  I have always loved hearts and always connected them with my mom.  She passed away when I was 32 years old.

  The day she passed I bought this frame (pictured here) and

 I immediately put her picture in it.  This has been beside my bed for almost 24 years. I also started collecting hearts in different ways, but recently they have been popping up when I least expect it…they pop up in landscape, stones, rocks, clouds…And you can think I am crazy, but a lot of times it is when I am talking to her.  I feel very connected to her when I am hiking and biking.  

My husband and my friends have come to looking for heart rocks and stones when we are hiking together, they know how much it means to me.  Many times, I will bring the stone home unless it is just not possible, in which case a photo will have to do.  When we are traveling I tend to keep the rocks in our room until it is time to leave.  Thats is when I have to decide…take it or photograph it…

Usually the photo wins…

With that, welcome to Hikes and Hearts where I can share my love of 

Photos.

Hikes.

Hearts.

Please follow me on my new instagram page Hikes.and.Hearts. I will post pictures and stories about the places we go…Enjoy ❤️

 

You❤️

I choose you…I chose you 33 years ago and I’d choose you again and again .  I didn’t know 33 years ago the things you would teach me and the life you would give me….I feel incredibly grateful that you chose me too.  When we met, all I knew was that you made me laugh, you took care of me during the most difficult time in my life, you stuck with me and again, you made me laugh.  You made me feel capable, when I felt like I was hitting a wall and could go no further…you made me feel capable.  I felt strong, I felt happy, and I felt like nothing could stop us. Our life together started when we were 18, and at 22 we knew it would be forever.  

Sometimes the unplanned and unexpected are often the best things in life.

                                                                     

Our life moved forward not as just a couple, but as a family.  2 quickly became 3, 4, then 5. (and 6,7,8,9,10)

  33 years later our love has proven that we can withstand separation…growth…change and life.  The best thing you do for me is believe in me with every adventure we take.  I have become so fearless because you push me to my limits.  When my fearful stress causes me to stop I keep going because of you.  

Thank you for who you are and everything you stand for.  Thank you for loving me…choosing me…33 years later I still and will always choose you…I love you

 

The Day of Days~”D” Day

                              

  Veterans Day 2022 has a very different meaning for me this year.  I always celebrate my husband, my son, their friends and all of the service men and women that serve our country.  The things that are given up, put on hold and the time taken away is something that is not easy.  Veterans and their families learn to roll with the punches and live life day to day not knowing what the next day might bring. And for this they are all celebrated and thanked.

In honor of Veterans Day I’d like to share what I wrote following a nine hour tour of Normandy while we were in France last month.                                                                           

     I never understood the real term of heroism until I stood on Omaha Beach in Normandy.  

You learn about “D” day in high school, you read about it in books, but until you are standing in the trenches, behind the hedge rows, and standing in the waters that these young men jumped into, you won’t understand the fright and the unknown thoughts that must have been going through their heads.   I learned more yesterday in 9 hours than I could have learned in a year long world history class.  Our tour guide had personally interviewed, sat, and listened to soldiers, first hand what had happened to them at the young age of 19 years old. 

Imagine…19

     You haven’t even experienced 1/4 of your life yet, you maybe haven’t even fallen in love, had your first drink or cigarette, (although by now you have), and you still want your mom when you are cold, frightened, or even just tired.  All of a sudden you have gun strapped on to you as you are awaiting for the green light… the green light to parachute in or to run out of the landing craft that you have been sitting or laying on for hours off the shore of the beach.  You know in the back of your mind that there is a good chance that you will not see the end of the day.  But you think about the reason you are here.  To save innocent lives in villages of families…kids, moms, dads, grandparents.  These families that have had their lives turned upside down for reasons they can’t even begin to understand.  All they knew was that their towns were being taken over, and they needed help, from our kids.  Kids saving kids.  The strength of our servicemen during this time period was tremendous.  Unlike anything you can imagine until you see what they had to endure and actually walk where they walked.  It is surreal and as much as I’d like to describe it as disheartening, it actually raises the spirit to see what these boys were willing to do.  Some there by choice, some not.  They were all in it together, it was a brotherhood that would never be broken.

AND FOR THAT WE THANK YOU AND ALL OF OUR MILITARY FOR YOUR SERVICE

 

   

     

40 years=480 months~2080 weeks~14,600 days~350,400~21,024,000 minutes of Love ❤️

 

I haven’t written for a long time, in fact I haven’t had the mindset to write for a long time.  It takes something inspiring to get my head around a post.  This morning I woke up thinking about my brother Jon and Cara, my sister-“in law” (And I put the in law part in quotes because Cara has been in my life since I was 12 and she’s really just a true sister). Today they celebrate 40 years of marriage.  A marriage that 40 years ago defied all odds.  They were young, they were not the same religion, and they had they most precious thing that life can offer,,,a baby.  I was 14 when they got married and I looked up to them not really knowing exactly what I was looking up to, I just knew that there was something special there.  In time I realized that what I was seeing was a deep love, commitment, strength, and optimism.  These 4 qualities are not found in every marriage, let alone a young marriage.  As the years went on they had a set of beautiful twins, dogs, bought themselves a house, then another and another…built this amazing life that originally, if you recall… defied the odds.

   Looking back at the last 40 years I have come to realize what an amazing support system they are to their kids, their families, and everyone surrounding them.  They are always looking out for and offering anything they can, together.  Always with a positive spin and a smile.  Through life’s losses and gains, they make life look easy and happy.  This relationship is one that Eric and I aspired to be when our own relationship was so new.  Honest, loving, and strong.  Together with our kids and my sister and her kids we have built this close knit family of cousins, aunts, and uncles, that started with the two of them.  We are not your typical family, and we know it. 

  Thanks to the 2 who are today celebrating 40 years. 🥂

So, thank you both for showing the world what true love looks like…Happy 40 years Jon and Cara!

We love you with all of our hearts ♥️ 

  

Project Life

Friends and family think we are nuts, my husband and I.  Maybe we are, but we don’t think as much.  We just don’t have the word “no” in our vocabulary.  Sometimes it may feel detrimental, but not very often.  We just keep moving forward.  We get ideas in our heads and we just go with it. It’s a way of life that we built on our own.  I was talking with a good friend this summer when we were talking about life and how we got to where we all are.  With moves, kids, weddings, grandkids…we both had experienced all of the above and came to the realization that life is a project.  It starts as a project when you start making your own decisions and building your family and life.  You go about your days, months and years adding new things every day.  You wake up every morning not having any idea where the day might go.  Your plan can take a right turn, left turn or sometimes a U turn.  And sometimes it’s just best to go back and rethink things and take a different path.  That’s the beauty of it all, it’s your project, no one else’s.  

I feel like our project started the day we found out we were having a baby.  That absolutely was not in the immediate plan, we were planning to get married after Eric finished pilot training.  So, instead of moving forward and being separated for a year, we took a turn, got married, had Dani and off to Mississippi we went. 

But let me add this, we were 23 year old recent college graduates, and had a year to wait to go to pilot training.  My dad suggested we get into rental real estate while we waited.  “Buy a house Dad? Really…?”  We again didn’t say no, so we bought a rental property, followed by more.  This part of our life added an entire new level to our project.  Since then rental real estate has become just part of life.  

Next comes the family level.  How many kids do you want?  Just when you think you’ve made your decision…another turn, another baby.  Change in project life is the best.  Now add a pet, {dogs in our case}. 

This just keeps getting better…

Until it doesn't, unfortunately in every life you are going to have to experience fight and/or loss.  This project life might take a wrong turn (but in time will go back in the right direction). If someone you love gets sick all you can do is watch and support.  You know you will do whatever it takes to get them through to wherever their project goes or ends.  Unfortunately every project comes to an end.  When someone you love is taken from you, you need to learn to live without them.  It feels so helpless, but you can do it.  It’s just another level.  

Another tier to this project life is growing kids.  You take them to a certain point in life until they are ready to fly.  You never truly stop taking care of them but at a certain point you take a step back and are just there. {Always}.  They know that you are not going anywhere. (Physically you may have gone a little further than normal, like Vegas maybe…😉 but emotionally you are always there and only a flight away) This is when they get to start their project…it’s cyclical.  They might  graduate, get jobs, marry, have kids, and their choices in life start to build.

This is where we are.  Watching our kids build their project as we add onto our own.  We are now in the mode of adding travel, rekindling old friendships and making new friendships, retirement planning and enjoying every minute with all of our kids.  Project life is a constant.  It doesn’t matter where you are in life, just keep building on it.  

Promise yourself this…

Always Live life to the fullest.

Always Love Hard

Always possess positivity

Yes, I am an optimist…and I get it from my husband ❤️ Welcome to Project Life

Time Is A Thief

Preface: I logged into my blog today to write a blog called "Project Life".  I came across this entry that I never published. {dated June 9th, 2021} This entry gave me so much insight to my new idea of Project Life.  I decided to finish it, and publish it.  Knowing and remembering that I was going through a rough and emotional time in life, it just proved to me that life will change for the better. (Keep in mind that I had just lost my dog, put my house of 20 years up for sale and was supporting my sister through the loss of her husband to cancer) 

*Just give yourself space to achieve joyfulness again.

6/9/21

I was texting with a mom that I used to nanny for today when she replied to me with "Time Is A Thief"

Time IS a thief...it takes things and people and pets and homes...and so much more that we really don't realize.  You can look at time as being anywhere from a second to a lifetime.  You don't realize that time is taking things that you will not get back, The more I thought about it,  time is also growth...it brings things to you as well.  You put in time to earn the things that you deserve. (ie. my hard working husband).  As much as it can work both ways, I see more of time being a thief right now.  I saw time with Lucy being taken from me this past weekend.  Lucy and I spend a lot of time together when I am in Minnesota.  I barely saw her the entire weekend because she was with her friends. This is her time of growth.

  Time can also hurt...Loved ones taken too soon...sick pets...unexpected changes...

But time will also heal.

I've been struggling a little bit recently because of life's changes. Some sudden and some that we have been leading up to.  You can prepare for change to only a certain extent.  Either way you look at it there is going to be a way to get through all of it.  You need to make a conscious effort to decide to move forward being motivated through positivity ...Looking back at this entry 4 months later, I see that strength comes from within, but also from others surrounding you...let the surrounding strength get you through "Time Being A Thief"

"Project Life" Coming Soon 

Sunny Days~Sweeping The Clouds Away

On my way to where the air is sweet...A week ago I saw a commercial for 50 years of Sunny Days. A special on ABC celebrating Sesame Street.   I couldn't believe how excited I got, so excited that I put it on my reminders, followed by recording it just in case I wasn't home.  I am pretty sure that not many my age would get so excited about something as such.  If you ask my family what they remember most about things I loved as a little girl it would be Sesame Street.  I would watch it with my own kids when they were little, and now with my granddaughters.  I sing along, laugh, and know every name of every muppet.  

When I was little I had no idea the messages that they were trying to get across and the lessons that were being taught.  All I knew was that Bert and Ernie were funny, that they were roommates, best friends.  Ernie drove Bert crazy with his antics and his laughing, singing and his need for Bert's help all of the time.  But it didn't matter to Bert because they were best friends and that what friends do. 

 

I didn't realize that Snuffleupagus came from a family of divorce.  His dad told he and his sister Alice that he wasn't going to live with them but explained how he would still be in their lives. 

 Sesame had to unfortunately touch the subject of death when Mr Hooper passed away in 1983.  Instead of recasting, or writing him off the show by telling Big Bird, that Mr.Looper, (Hooper...Hooper) retired or moved,  Maria, Luis, Gordon, and Bob tenderly and emotionally explained to Big Bird that he had died..  This brought tears and raw feelings to the set of Seeame that day. 

 These are all subjects that were a part of everyday living.  Not only were we learning our ABC's, numbers.(1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.11.12 ladybugs came to the ladybug picnic) and colors, but ultimately we were learning about life, emotions, and feelings we hadn't otherwise figured out yet. 

In 2005 Sesame Street brought in Griotte, who was a little girl in a wheelchair and in 2017 Julia joined.  Julia has autism.  These little girls showed our kids that having a disability is something that is nothing to fear, and everyone can be friends regardless of any differences.

Most recently, Covid, social distancing, home schooling, and masks have been introduced.  Sesame has creatively engaged the muppets in zoom song sessions, and mask rules. Realizing that pre~schooler"s have been extremely affected by the past year has given them the opportunity to help.  Let these kids know that they are not the only ones not being able to see their friends, teachers and family, the muppet friends also cannot.  

One last very sensitive subject that has been on the front page is racism. Sesame Street and CNN partnered for a town hall meeting lead by who else...Big Bird.  Discussed during this town hall meeting racism, protesting, empathy, and diversity.  After this meeting Wes and Elijah were introduced.  An African American father and son, whose mom and grandma will soon be introduced.  

The amount of awareness that has been brought before us, without even realizing it is brilliant.  Brilliant beyond what I ever imagined Sesame street to be.  All I knew when I was 4 was that I was learning , laughing and singing.  Empathy, emotion, and understanding was something that was taught without us even knowing.  All we were thinking about were the Sunny Days ahead.  

Come and Play, everything's A-OK

Friendly Neighbors there

That's where you meet

Can you tell me how to get 

how to get to Sesame Street

From James Taylor to Little Richard...Jelly Man Kelly to Ittsy Bitssy Spider...(And all of the other musicians that sang to us)   Sesame Street will forever be a part of us