If you want to change the world...start off by making your bed...U.S.Navy Adm. William H. McCraven

I had 4 inspiring days last weekend full of respect, precision, appreciation and pride.  As parents, we teach many important qualities to our kids in hopes that they will display these qualities into adulthood.  Unfortunately this will not always happen.  In my opinion, from what I saw last weekend, every 18 year old, before going off to college or into the world, should have to leave the comforts of family to commit to 8 weeks of living "without".  This 18 year old will learn how to listen to and respect others, about teamwork,  as well as knowing how to push oneself to complete physical challenges.  This will all be taught by an instructor not a parent...then if...and only if they get through it, are they allowed to move on and attempt to change the world. (Only if their bed is made because that is the first accomplishment of every day)  If you don't get through it, you do it again and again until you get it...and trust me you will.


Please..Thank You...Excuse Me...Yes sir...No Ma'am

This is what I saw when we went to Jakes graduation from Basic Training.  The instructors taught them really the same things that they learned when they were little kids, just in a harder environment.  They push and they push and they teach these boys and girls to be men and women.
Every day they woke up at the same "crack of dawn" time, MADE THEIR BEDS, worked out, ate a healthy breakfast, had to work as a team, surpass challenges, listen to lectures, get yelled at, march not walk, hands clasped in front or in back, speak with respect, dress to perfection...All without television, music or phones...This brought lack of having any connection to friends and family as well as no connection to the outside world.

The first minute we saw him in the midst of 700 graduates, I saw a different Jake, He was standing at attention and could not move until either Eric or I "tapped him out" (which meant he could not move until one of us tapped him on the shoulder) at which point I got a much needed Jake hug!  He smiled that Jake smile and I just wanted to go back 20 years, pick him up and take him home!  I could not believe the amount of happiness and pride I felt seeing him.  As much as "this sucks" as he put it, he has learned life lessons that I know he once learned when he was 3!  These lessons were just instilled a little differently.


Doing Without = Gratitude
No Phones
No Music
No Television
No Tablets
No snacking
No caffeine
No Alone Time
Being Pushed=Physically Fit


 Here are a few conversations between Jake and I.

Jake wanted a gourmet cookie...I got Jake a cookie...
Me: "Let's go...why are you just sitting there?"
Jake "I can't walk and eat, I have to sit"

After getting him a Starbucks:
Jake "Mom, will you carry my coffee, I can't walk holding a coffee!"

Jake "I have to find a restroom."
Me: "They are down the escalator"
Jake: "I need you to walk with me, I can't be alone"

And the best one...
A girl walks by and say's "Welcome to the Air Force Airman"
Me:  "She's Cute!"
Jake: "Yes, she is...should I ask her to text her number to my mom's phone!"
(remember, he has no phone!)


These are just a few things that I watched Jake do or say during the past weekend.  As I walked with him and looked around, I noticed people looking at him...up to him.  Total strangers congratulating him, welcoming him to the Air Force.  You see, when you graduate Basic Training you wear your new uniform with your new stripes, your new bars, and your new outlook.  
I watched many new airmen walk with pride after achieving such and amazing milestone in their lives.  They have learned that they can get by "without" the extras in life...for 8 weeks anyway!
Congratulations Airmen and Welcome to the United States Air Force!

"I Love You And That's That"

"I LOVE YOU AND THAT'S THAT"
April, 1999...
Those were the last 6 words my mom ever said to me.  6 words that meant one thing...unconditional love.  Unconditional love means 9 months, 40 pounds, 2 days of contractions and labor only to cry uncontrollable tears of joy while you hold your newborn baby.  It means loving your toddler when they decide to color the walls in your new house because they would rather it be a rainbow of polka dots, loving your teenager when they don't want to have anything to do with you...although by the second, third, fourth child you just have to laugh because you know they want to have everything to do with you, they just don't realize it!   It could mean loving your new puppy when he/she chews your new kitchen table leg then poops on your white carpet.  It mean's loving a best friend when they've talked you into doing stupid things only to laugh about it many years later!  And siblings...that's the best unconditional love ever, because when it really comes down to it, they will never leave your side!  (Not in my family anyway) No matter what, you will love this sibling, child, pet, or friend.  So, what about a spouse?  Is there unconditional love there?  Not always, but in the best cases, yes...this brings me to my dad.  This man is 76 years (HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!) of warmth, love, patience and unconditional love.  I know my sister, brother, and I have tested his patience beyond measure, yet he was always the supportive one.  He has been through many experiences that shows how committed and true he would always be.
                                                                                                                       He and my mom married when they were 18 and 19.

Yes, they were young and yes, they were in love.  They had 3 kids that they kept happy and safe...unconditionally. My mom being a stay at home mom, was always the go between with my sister, brother, and I and my dad.  When you screwed up, you went to mom, you wanted to shop, you went to mom, you failed at something and wanted to cry, you went to mom.  She would then, ever so subtly share with dad what it was that happened or what we "needed to have!"  It was her showing us the unconditional love in her own mommy way, and my dad showing us unconditional love in his own daddy way.
Then one day, we got to know my dads side of unconditional love in a way I had never

 

dreamed. They were 45 years old, had their first grandchild, loved their traveling, boating, renovating the beautiful house of their dreams, then this...
December, 1984...I am 18, rushing my mom to the hospital...heart attack, open heart surgery, coma, amputations, re-habilitation...re-learning life...  All of a sudden my dad is in this nightmare out of his control.  He has me, this hormonal crazy teenage daughter, who needs her mom, my sister away at college, and a son, daughter in law, and grandson who all looked to him for strength.  And he keeps this strength up regardless...for us.
The next thing you know 9 months has gone by,  he has not left her side for one day.

September, 1985... it's time for my mom to come home, what does my dad do?  RE-renovates life...buys a wheelchair, a walker, a prosthetic leg, bedside Potty, (which my kids thought was the best chair ever!!), builds ramps, widens doorways, trades in a waterbed, (remember, it was the 80's!) for a king size electronic bed, trades in my moms corvette for a custom van, and did whatever it took to move on with life with this new outlook!  Not once did he ever complain...he just made things normal.  Is this normal for a young vibrant 46 year old couple who were about to hit the empty nest years?  Yes,  it is normal for what life had become...  

So, you may wonder...what had life become? 
Traveling
Boating
Parenting
Grand parenting
Renovating another new dream home

Life had become no different than it was before, just a few unexpected changes that without the unconditional love of my dad may not have happened..
They enjoyed an "extra" 15 years together that they very easily may not have been fortunate enough to have.  And in those years not only did we learn how to live and love a little more, but their grandchildren learned many life lessons that they never even realized they learned.   Seeing these everyday challenges and the way Grandma and Papa lived was just normal...no disability, no handicap, no issues...just life...a life where you say
 "I love you and that's that"