I am a social media addict...I love Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and well...even my email I check a little to often. Snapchat? No thanks, I have spent enough time trying to figure it out that I just don't think it's for me :( It finally has taken my husband, who took notice to the fact that I ALWAYS have my phone, if not in my hand, then an arms reach away. My 16 year old had to tell me to just live my life, "Not everyone needs to know everything mom!" That, coming from a teenager made it very real and true.
When I am with Eric, (my husband), I always have some excuse as to why I am looking at my phone. Whether it is "I just wanted to see what the weekend weather looks like!" or "I'm just checking to see if someone answered my (very unimportant) email" or even " I am just checking to see if Dani posted a Lucy picture"...since the last time I checked(10 minutes ago!) There is always a reason, an excuse, a way of getting out of the guilt of looking at my phone. So yes, My name is Brynn, and I am a social media addict.
This brings me to the last year or so. I have not written a blog since last August! (So, if you are new to this blog...feel free to read my others! I used to blog a lot!) Every time I got online to write something I got lost and misguided...I would not even get as far as getting to my blog site.
Here's what would happen. I get on the computer, bring up Google Chrome, think about what I want to write, in which case I need some pictures and quotes to add to my blog post. First I know the pictures I want will be on Facebook, so I find the blue "F" on my screen, and then it happens. Oh, look what happened today in Middle East, that's scary, oh look at what she's selling at an online party...that's cute...oh look, that dog video is hilarious!! I watch it, cracking up to myself, then when it is over, POOF...another one starts...and another and another...OK Brynn, enough. X out! Then I see who's having birthdays, and well you know the rest. I get so caught up in looking for pictures (NOT) that I decide, maybe I should look for some quotes to go with my blog. PINTEREST! Oh shit, here we go into that never ending dark hole. What was it that I was going to write about again? Oh yes, that's right...oh look at that cute lake sign! This page is amazing, and a lot of it I could make myself. PIN.PIN.PIN...NOT NOW!! OOPS, I still need to lesson plan, I should go to my Lets Teach, Lets Play board. I remember that I saved a bunch of fun spring and Passover ideas for my kiddos at school. I then log out of Pinterest and open my lesson planning doc. By the time I finish lesson planning, it is time to either go somewhere or make dinner...hold on, let me check my phone either for directions to where we are going or for a fun dinner recipe!
Which brings me back to...SMA, SOCIAL MEDIA ADDICTION.
Maybe I am going a little overboard, because the whole social media thing means pictures, and pictures are the meaning of life. Or is it? As you all know, pictures are my (and my daughters) thing. Taking pictures for me was a love ever since I was little. My Papa bought me a camera when I was like 10 and I have been non stop ever since.
I took pictures of my crazy brother and sister, our housekeeper fishing, my dad sleeping, my mom grilling and even my dog pooping! I have many photos in a book to prove it. Until it became a "thing" to post pictures, I was just happy to show people in a paper album. But when Facebook became Facebook, OMG! it opened up an entire new world to me. Not only could I take pictures of the people, places, and things that I loved, but with the click of a button, I could share with the world what made me happy, or sad, or excited, or scared, or crazy! Yep, social media can expose every emotion from a picture. And do others really care? Well, of coarse they do...I get a lot of likes you know...are they liking the fact that I am a positive person and I never post anything negative, or do they like the pictures I post, or are they just scrolling through Facebook absentmindedly pushing "like" because its a habit? Do you really like what I made for dinner last night? Or the fact that my dog passed away? Oh wait, now Facebook has emotions of its own to go right along with the moods that we are posting ourselves in.
I think you get the point of this blog post. But what really has gotten to me lately, is the fact that for 3/4 my life, and all the generations before me, there was none of this. No one needed to know what everyone else was doing, where they were vacationing, and who they were with. It was all about being in the moment, where you were and who you were with. If you felt so inclined, you could tell others at a later date, and it was just as special. Recently, and not so recently I have lost people who were a very special part of my life... and these people had so much love and happiness and didn't have to document it. They were truly a part of each other's lives with no "hold on, let me take a picture...Wait, let me look, wait, the lighting was bad let's take it again, ok, that's cute, let me post it real quick and then let's continue our moment of fun"...
On the anniversary of my moms death I actually said to my sister, " I wish I had a selfie with mom!" Seriously...did I really just say that. I did and then I once again realized, I have SMA...I have a selfie book of Lucy and I am no longer afraid or embarrassed to admit that, I am one step closer to recovery.
*one thing that I do love is the time hop aspect of the things posted in past years. Some sad, some funny, some just stupid, but watching life go by in pictures kind of cool. And one other positive aspect is that my dad has accounts so that he can see pictures of not only his grandchildren but his great grandchildren as well. He doesn't feel the need to post anything, he never even likes anything, he is just happy to see the pictures :)
I can't say that I will completely and forever stay away from social media...I will never leave Pinterest, my house is cute because of it, and I never would have gotten hooked on Apple Cider Vinegar hacks without it, and Instagram...well, I do love pictures, so... But I will not however, spend so much time trying to capture and post every moment of my life, husband, kids and beautiful Lucy, that I am missing half of life's perfectly perfect moments.
So, this summer, I will write more, read more, enjoy more, and mostly just not document more for the pure satisfaction of being "liked". But everyone else...keep it up because you make so many laugh, cry, smile and feel so many of the emotions that you are trying to make them feel. I love all of it, but I have just found myself spending way to much time with phone in hand!
My name is Brynn and I am a social media addict...
