Not "what would have been"...just Happy Birthday...

Many of us wish our lost loved ones a Happy "what would have been" Birthday...Because someone you love passed away, that does not mean they are not celebrating a birthday.  I believe they are celebrated not only on their birthdays, but every day.  Today is my moms 77th birthday.
      I remember baking many cakes for her, wrapping many presents in newspaper for her, and celebrating every year by BBQing at the lake before we would move back to the city for school to start.  August 31st, every year meant not only the end of summer, but celebrating another year of this most beautiful woman you could ever imagine.
     You know from past blog entries how special my mom was, so I will just keep this one on the short side by saying you are thought of every single day, you are missed every single night when I awake and realize I had just seen you in a dream.  You are seen every second in all of your children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren (who you would be so proud to have sitting in your lap!)  You are remembered every birthday with a card that gets tucked away (I am up to 17 this year) and balloons that are sent your way into the sunny blue sky.  Mom,  Happy Unlimited Birthday ❤️.
I Love and Miss You Every Day!

A Bump In The Road

#shouldhaveattended

 10 days ago I hit a bump in the road. I didn't hit a bump in my day, my week, or even my year... I hit a bump in the road...
on my bike. But this literal bump in the road has taught me many things in the past week.

First lesson being, even if you don't feel like wearing your helmet, wear it! At the last minute something told me to put mine on, yet seven stitches, a concussion and many scrapes, scars, and bruises later I'm glad I did.

     A bump in the road literally means – slow down – was I moving too fast on my bike? Yes… Was I moving too fast in my life? Yes… I'm always moving towards what's next.
     The summer was an amazing one, A constant of plans, friends, family, and lake (which as you know is how we roll, but that's what we love!). As Im always trying to keep moving ahead, I was trying to catch up to Sadie on my bike, I hit this bump in the road, which in some round about way, told me to slow down – and that it did. With this concussion came an entire new way of seeing things… In slow motion.  As much as I hate feeling the way that I do, I am realizing that not being able to think fast or talk fast has taken a little stress out of my life – not that my life is that stressful, but just putting everything on hold for 10 days (so far) makes me realize that not everything has to be done instantaneously.  Not every text or email needs to be answered within two minutes of receiving it.  I haven't been able to be on Facebook, Pinterest, email, watch TV or text (which I can't say I haven't been doing).  I've also realized that not being connected at all times is not such a crazy way to live. I know that it has become the norm but trust me… Take a step back for a morning, a day, even a week~You won't miss much.  I am as guilty as anyone else to being a social media addict, but I must say as much as it sucks to be as "out of it" as I've been, I've been forced to slow down.  I'm not so sure I will go back to the way I was. I've reverted to talking on the phone more to family and friends, something that had become so inconsistent.  Having friends stop by and sit on my couch and talk about the day has actually been the best. 

     The last and most important part of my "bump in the road" was seeing how my husband Eric and I raised our kids.
Eric took amazing care of me for two days until I made him go to work.
At this point he left my care in the hands of our kids, only one of which, Sadie, still lives at home. Dani and Jake both live in their own homes about 20 minutes away.  Jake spent two days to include spending the night just before leaving for Germany. He stayed to be sure if I needed anything he'd be there. I slept and he kept checking on me.  That meant the world to me!  Dani spent hours here with Lucy just to keep Nanas mind off of feeling so miserable, and of course it worked!  She also was a constant for me to know she was there if I needed anything.  She received many phone calls from me crying for reasons I didn't even know!   Sadie was my chauffeur, even though my irritability got the best of both of us. She cut the lawn, did laundry, dishes, and just sat with me… I know she got annoyed at times not having my constant energy and attention but she is getting through it!  Eric called every chance he got but was always careful not wake me up. He'd check in by calling Sadie. Little did he know that just hearing his voice was the biggest part of my days!
And then there's Gracie,
who ultimately was the best thing to come into our lives after we lost Cody. She stuck right by me all day long – right next to me until my days got better when she then she followed me to sit outside or in the family room.



 As you can see, taking love, family, and compassion for granted will be no more!

 Needless to say this bump in the road provided a lesson that's necessary for us to evolve  – and get us to where ever it is that we need to be.

By The Way...This was written by talk to text...Because I still shouldn't be on the computer!
It felt like I was making a podcast!  I've listened to a lot of those while staring at the walls!!

simple mom (and Gracie)

#Goldengirl

So, just a quick update to let you all know that I'm back to simple mom and her dog. Gracie is our 7 1/2-year-old rescue Golden who has fit into our lives just perfectly. I'm sure I'll have many more stories to tell but for now here she is.

Ice Cream.Tomatoes.Tennis Balls. Love

Last November, our dog Cody was diagnosed with Lymes disease and in April diagnosed with Osteosarcoma.  This happy, energetic puppy of ours had lost the sparkle in his eyes and the will to play and run.  At this time, I was introduced by my son to a song called Lost Boy.  Unsure of why it struck me so hard, I listened to it constantly during Cody's last 6 months.  Not until he passed away did I get it.  Cody was lost in his sicknesses, unable to be free to do what he loved.  The pain in his eyes was so evident, but the pictures that I took during his last 6 months says it all.  I know now that he is not in any pain, he is happy, running, swimming...FREE!  He let go on May 2nd.

The decisions we had to make in the last few weeks of his life were heartbreaking.  We had the option to amputate and give chemotherapy, use palliative radiation, or just keep him happy and comfortable. Because he had kidney damage from the lymes disease, anything but keeping him comfy was just too much for him to take.

He had his good days and his bad days, and of course on his good days I second guessed my choices for him.  Thank goodness for our incredibly patient veterinarian who I called every time I was unsure. He reassured me that we were doing what was best.  Dr. Duff had gotten Cody through some very dark days when he had lost 30 lbs, wouldn't eat or drink, and was completely dehydrated.  Through IV's, acupuncture, meds, and daily weigh ins, he did everything he could for Cody...and it worked!  Cody came running back gaining all 30 lbs back and was happy again.  This is when the cancer set in...horrible decisions had to be made...

  Never did I think the loss of a dog would take such a toll.  But when I think about it, Cody, my 110lb yellow lab was always with me or waiting for me.  He slept next to me, he ran with me, he ran errands with me, he was a constant for me.
Cody became a part of our family when he was just 6 weeks old.  When he snuggled into my daughters lap and didn't move, we just knew he was meant to be ours.  He grew into the most gentle, obedient, loving, tomato eating 110lb lab!  He was funny, wild, calm, wise...he protected us, he made us laugh and play.

                                Cody loved life...He fought for life...only winning the fight once.

 We took Cody to the cabin knowing the end was near.  We had bought new stairs going into the lake so that he would be able to get out of the water easier, but he would not have it!  He was struggling to get up the rocks that he had always run up, and he did it.  Unfortunately the cancer had crushed the bones in his leg and his leg broke.  This is when we realized his time had come.  It was in his eyes.  It was time to put him down...We gave him everything he deserved to have on his last day.  Friends, Ice Cream, Tennis Balls, Sunshine...LOVE...And when it was time he laid on his blankets with a tennis ball and with the help from Dr. Duff, he fell asleep, his head in my hands...  I will never forget the peacefulness in his body that had shook, limped, and broke.  His soul was gone and it was just his body left.
His favorite place on earth was our cabin, and this is where he will Rest In Peace.  We cremated Cody (with a tennis ball to take to heaven!) and we will spread his ashes at his favorite place on earth.

Live...Love...Laugh...Taught by my mom

LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH

I never thought the day you dropped me off at nursery school you would actually leave me.  But then again, I never thought you would leave me at 32 years old either.  I sit here and think how life isn’t always fair, but I think I felt that way when I was 3.  I was a shy, little mommies girl hiding behind glasses, who thought life did not go on with out you. You did however come back that day in 1970.

     I figured out ways even in kindergarten to be able to call you during the day.  I would do everything from peeing on the floor during circle time, to unscrewing my glasses so that you would have to come to school For me.  I finally just learned to wait until I got home from school to see you.  There you were, every day, sitting outside with Sam waiting for me to get off the bus.  I don’t know what it was about coming home that was just so comfortable.

     Mom, you always had just the right thing to say, or knew the right time for a hug or a hand to hold.  I could always so easily fall asleep because of the comfort you brought. You knew when I was sad, mad, or just needed to be with you.

  My mom was not just your ordinary mom.  She had many struggles of her own.  From the time she was just a little girl she had to deal with sickness that not very many kids had to fight.  She was always so strong and positive no matter what.  Nana and Papa, (her mom and dad) had to leave her at a hospital when she was just 9 years old so that she could be treated for polio.  But she once again, being the strong person she was smiled for every picture and I’m sure said good-bye with a big hug and kiss reassuring my grandparents she would be fine.  She defied all odds, she finally walked without braces or crutches!

Defying all odds was something that she got to be known for.  She was told that having babies would not be easy.  1 baby, 2 miscarriages, and 2 more babies later, she proved everyone wrong!  3 kids with her high school sweetheart (my amazing dad!) made for a pretty incredible family.  She still always had to be very careful, but that didn’t stop her.  We still traveled, boated, swam, she did everything and anything to make sure her kids grew up happy and loving life.  That’s what she did and that’s what she taught us, to love life.

Fast forward to my mom at 59 years old.... 

8 weeks in the hospital with many complications from an opened heart valve.  A heart transplant was considered by the whole family, we decided against it. My mom fought so hard, just as she had proven to always do and win. She would have to be transferred to another hospital only to be accepted as a candidate. She had so many other problems that she may not have even made it through the transfer. As a family we had decided that she had fought as hard as she could.  Sunday, April 11th,1999, I asked my sister to call me from the hospital room and put the phone to her ear. I told her how much I loved her. I told her that she had fought hard enough that it was time to just close her eyes and go to sleep. I told her that I wished that I could be half the mom to my kids that she was to me. I told her how much I admired her and looked up to her. I told her that it was time and that everyone would be O.K. and that we would take care of each other. I told her again how much I loved her. Lisa took the phone as everyone was by her side. And not but 40 minutes later did my phone ring, Mom has passed away.

Fast forward 17 years...

2 beautiful girls who will never get to meet their grandma/great grandma, will share the beauty of being named for her.  Sadie Joy and Lucy Joy, may you grow to be as strong and as beautiful as your namesake, Sandra Joy.

When you're a little down...

15 Dr. Seuss Quotes to Get You Through a Rough Day

Simple Mom (and her dog): Why Fit In When You Were Born To Stand Out...Dr. S...

Simple Mom (and her dog): Why Fit In When You Were Born To Stand Out...Dr. S...: I am challenged on my every word by my 14 year old... "Mom, Why do you have to be so judgmental?" "Im watching "Th...

The Power of Optimism...Positive Mind~Positive Vibes~Positive Life

Blessed are those who spoil and snuggle...hug and hope...pray and pamper...For they shall be called Grandparents

O.K....I'm a grandma, well, a Nana!  I had a hard time with grandma, grams, a few even tried granny and I would have none of that.  The first time I changed Lucy, my son-in-law looked at me and said "You are such a Nana!"  And it felt right.  I always thought, how could I be a Nana?  There is only one Nana to me and I could never stand up to her...but I will do my best! So its official...Eric and I are Nana and Pops...Oh, and my daughter is a mom, her husband a dad...and Jake and Sadie...An Uncle and Aunt...Yep...

Lucy Joy was born Tuesday, January 19th at 12:32 pm. She weighed 7lbs 5 oz. and was 20.5 inches long.  She came into this world pretty quietly to Leon Bridges singing Smooth Sailin, on a beautiful winter afternoon!  The day Dani asked me if I would be in the delivery room with them was truly unexpected!  Everyone knows that we are extremely close, but to watch my granddaughter take her first breath never, in a thousand years, crossed my mind.  I tried to imagine the moment many times over and over again in my head.  Bright lights, loudness, yelling, and then the cries of a beautiful baby girl...well, it was low lighting, (until the very end), peacefulness, music, (a little bit of The Today Show), and an hour and a half of Dani pushing with all her might.  Joe and I coached Dani when to push and when to Stop... watching this amazing head of hair emerge, and then finally this perfect little girl appears and the nurse says "Well, let's get this little girl to cry!" Lucy begins to take a few breaths and cries her little lungs free of what she had been living in for 9 months.
  Our baby just had a baby!  Eric and I are grandparents?  Wait no, we can't be grandparents... Well, let's just accept that we are.  I walked, (ran) out to the waiting room where Auntie Sadie and Pops are sitting, pull out my phone, and flash them a picture of a 2 minute old baby!!  She's here... Meet Lucy Joy!  "But wait," I tell them, "You can't go in for an hour.  They need their golden hour."  Golden hour, shmolden hour, we want to see Lucy!   Well things have changed a little in the past 15 years.  Apparently mom and dad need to snuggle the baby BY THEMSELVES for one hour!  That's so unfair to us GRANDPARENTS! Well, I've already made the decision that I will not be "that Grandma"  I guess it will start with the GOLDEN HOUR!  So we go to lunch.

2 weeks have gone by and I already have 5 selfies with her to put in my Nana/Lucy selfie folder on my phone.  The folder where I am going to do 1 selfie a week for a year...yep there's already 5!  I've been told by facebook friends that we are going to need an entire cloud of our own for all of our pictures and also that I haven't stopped smiling for 2 weeks.  This is all true...the best part of it all, watching Eric be Pops!  He holds this lucky little girl and snuggles her and talks to her when he thinks no one sees them.  I thought I was in love with him before...this is an entire new kind of love seeing your husband fall in love with his granddaughter.

     And here we are at 5 weeks!  Hundreds of pictures and memories already filling our hearts.  The newest memory that was made was Lucy's first trip to The Lake.  When Eric and I bought this lake house, it was for not only us and our kids, but our grandchildren.  Little did we know just 5 years later we would bring Lucy here.  We pulled up and a feeling I hadn't expected shot right through my body.  The feeling of dreams turning into reality.  Lake Life at it's best...filled with happiness and true blessings.  This grandparent thing is beyond anything I had expected.  Everyone who has had this experience had told me "There's nothing like it".   Guess What...There's nothing like it.
"Blessed are those who spoil and snuggle...hug and hope...pray and pamper...For They Shall Be Called Grandparents <3